Roar..

Some people don't seem to realize that this is my blog, I can write whatever I want on it,
usually a way for me to vent and get things out so I can soon enough feel better.
If you don't like it, and think I'm annoying, then get off my blog. o.o;
It's that simple, really.
Even people as dumb as you can understand it. 8D

*deepsigh*
I'm going to my cousins house soon.
I asked James if he wanted to hang out after, cause, as Clara and Sammie know, he lives two blocks away from my cousins x3
Apparently they're all sick, but I don't mind x3
i love my cousins :3

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this, I thought I had you figured out, somethings gone terribly wrong, you're all I wanted.♫

I was supposed to go to the halloween store, to buy green leggings, but I has no money, so I decided to just go visit my aunt and my cousins, cause I love them and all.
And holy crap, why am I so stupid? I keep looking to see if I got a message back from James. Fml. D:
Aw damn, he's working. Pooey. (N)
Hopefully we can hang out sometime soon. D:

So excited for the dance on wednesday! It's seriously going to be the best ever.
And Lights concert! ♥

I go get ready to leave, kay bye. :3

fbkjtuhkyukly

Do you remember when we first met? I sure do. It was some time inn early September. You were lazy about it, you made me wait around. I was so crazy about you, I didn't mind. Guess that I was afraid that if you rode away, you might not roll back my direction real soon. Well I was crazy about you then and now...♫


A lot has happened lately, but I forget half of it, or just don't want to type it out.


1. "Imagine if I did other peoples laundry"
Oh yeah, being kind is such a bad thing these days, mom. o.o;
I don't mind doing my own laundry, but when my mom does everyone elses but mine, just because she doesn't want to. Yeah, that pisses me off. 


2. Musical Theatre has been sucking so much lately. It's not even close to fun. I know it's supposed to be more work, then fun, but people have been taking it way too seriously lately. And not even the teacher has been. Just two students who took over the class. It's ridiculous.


3. I really want a phone. I've been waiting like, a year? My dad took my phone away and is using it as his own. And he keeps telling me to be patient for a phone. Seriously? I've been waiting this whole time. I've changed my ways, I'm doing better in school, and you still don't think I deserve it?


4. My stupid sister lost my ipod. Now I have to wait to get another one. I always have to wait. Yet, my sisters get whatever they want, whenever they want. It's not fair. And I still haven't gotten my birthday present from my parents. I'm not too sure if I'll be even getting it now. Yet, my sisters always get theirs early. Why do people always forget about me? Why does what I want always come last to everything?


5. According to many people, I now look and smell like a pumpkin. o.o;


6. I really just want you to notice me and my feelings, and not push us aside, like you've been doing. I have fallen so hard for you, and I know you don't feel the same, but it would be nice if you acknowledged my feelings for a change. Even though I have to be, I don't want to be just your friend. I want to be so much more than that. But I guess there's nothing I can do to change that now.


7. "If you want something you've never had, then you must do something you've never done."


8. You definitely are worth my time, maybe even more, I hope you realize that soon.


9. I miss having a cell phone. I really do. I've been using my dad's to talk to you, and it makes me rather happy. I genuinely miss it. Falling asleep while texting you; I didn't think I would miss that so much. It's nice. ♥


10. There are twenty five more days until the Lights concert! I have never been more excited in my life. :3


11. I feel like a complete failure. Having to stand there, while everyone talks about college and the university's they want to go to, while I have to deal with the fact I ruined everything for myself. I feel so stupid, and like such a complete failure. Why did I have to fail everything, now I'm so behind in credits and won't be graduating this year. So great...and it'll take forever until I even have the chance to get into college. 


12. My life is starting to seem pointless again. But there's something in me that won't let me give up anymore.


13. It really bugs me that some people don't bother to read the lyrics I post. Those are the words I could never say myself. They mean so much...


14. I have to go get ready to go to Alisha's now.


15. I want to hang out with James tomorrow. He told me he's planning on doing homework tomorrow. Do you think that if I asked him, he would go on a walk with me, and just talk? :3


16. I love you. ♥

Just stuff that's on my mind. o.o;

"5508.) I wish you hadn't backstabbed me countless times. You were my best friend, I trusted you dearly. But hey, now you stretch the truth and distort facts. You think you can fool everyone, and you hate me because I'm not a backstabbing hypocritical bitch like you."


Rant #1. I actually hate cheaters. I don't understand why people feel the need to cheat. I've always been there for you, yet you pushed me away. And you only want to see her, yet, she cheated on you, and you could care less about me, even though all I've ever done was be there for you. I don't get it. You barely ever talk to me now, and you waste your time on people that don't matter. And I've always been here, but you haven't noticed.


Rant #2. I pour my heart out to you, explain everything to you, and tell you exactly how I feel about you. And all you can say is thank you? Not even reply with anything else? Just thank you? I understand you don't feel the same, but that doesn't mean you can just leave it at that...


Rant #3. I'm sick of everybody pretending to be my friends. You say you're my friend, and then I find out you actually don't like me, and think all I do is seek attention and complain. Why bother if you just don't like me? We're both clearly wasting each others time. o.o;


Rant #4. My cat is so fat. And he is seriously retarded. D: he drives me crazy. But i love him.


Rant #5. I hate when you tell a guy how you feel about them, and they say they don't feel the same, and then say "any guy would be lucky to have you" really? if any guy would be lucky to have me, why wouldn't you be?


Rant #6. I don't get why people just don't take chances anymore. You just toss that chance away like it's nothing. Well, you know what? you will never get that chance again. So you better take it while it's there. It's not going to hurt anything by taking risks and chances and seeing what could be, instead of letting that moment pass you by and then wonder what could've been. At least try, and see if something will come of it, instead of just not trying at all. Because you'll never know...things could happen when you least expect them to, and if you don't acknowledge them...well, that's just not good, now is it?


And that's basically all that I can think of, for now...
these certain things have been bothering me for a while..


Why don't you want me? Why don't you need me? Why don't you want me, when you know that I want you? Oh, you know I do. You know you never really gave it a chance.♫


Explains *Exactly* how I feel.^
Actually, it more or less explains my current situation.
Since, he won't give me a chance, which kills me.
And he knows how I feel about him, but it still doesn't seem to change anything.


People always say I'm so nice, and cute and any guy would be lucky to have me. Oh, okay. Then how come no guy ever likes me back when I like them? Please explain that to me. :/


Why can't someone give me a chance for once? It's not going to hurt anything if you just give me a chance and see if anything will come of this...


Am I really that easy to just throw away without any hesitation? D;


I always wanted you for myself, so tell that wasn't how your heart felt,
I always wanted you for myself, so tell me, tell me, and make my heart melt. ♫

A message to my sister+a rant.

Dear Emily; my beloved sister.
It is your birthday.
You're really old.
But that's okay, you're still super awesome,
and the best sister ever. ♥
Have a great birthday. :3

Rant time:
How dare you say all this stuff you've been saying.
Seriously.
And you call me the mean one?
All I did was say hi, and you get all mad at me,
Oh yeah, and you may think people are stupid, but just putting your blog post in a different language does not mean people aren't going to read it.
Are you dumb?
I never really said anything that mean.
And you can go ahead and blame all this on me, and not see that it is some of your fault as well.
But it is.
I don't know why I ever though you were a nice guy, or a good friend. But in the past two weeks, you've definitely proved all that to be wrong.
I could say something like you deserved that.... I'm not going to say anything in particular. Since I'm not fucking mean like you. 8D
you deserved  sdfcjkdtgurheygirfemkjfgjrtgh just sayin.
:/

Oh, and I just love how morons like you just always ruin my wonderful mood. Always.
I hope something really bad happens to you soon.

Lalalalalalalalala BATMAN :')

I'm hyper.
And surprisingly in a good mood.


I'm kind of glad my dad basically forced me to block all stupid people off of facebook and msn and stuff. He was right, it's better not to focus on pointless drama. And it is making me feel better.


But seriously, Pointless.


Just so you know, you're the only one who got all mad, and said crap. So don't even expect an apology from me, cause I could care less if we're friends or not at this point. You just proved you were never my friend to start with. Jsyk, you say all I do is complain? Whenever I talked to you, you did the same. That is, if you want to call talking about your feelings, complaining. I actually helped you and was there for you. If you don't want to see that, then cool. You're kind of acting like a huge bitch right now though. C:
Enjoy your life. (y)




The only good thing about yesterday was my dad saying these things:
"Want to know where I was while everyone was graduating? In my backyard drinking a beer"
"He's just a little prick and she's just a little slut" (this is why you don't anger my dad :/)
And
"You can do it, Caroline"
:3


I had such a good day, omfg.
The beginning sucked balls.
The worst part was going into Flemming's office attempting to cover my arm o.o;
But I succeeded 8D
Religion was iight, but I got called down to the social workers office, we talked for quite awhile ;o
I just had a lot to talk about.
Musical theater was amazing. So fun. 
We did vocal warm ups, which confused me, but nbd.
Then we played Telephone, and I had the honors of starting it off with "bob the builders best friend is a toaster" everyone looked at me like I was insane, but whatever x3
Then we played Taxi. But Clara blogged about that so I'm not going to bother.
After school I went to the Coffee House auditions with Clara just to watch, then chilled with everyone in Science Olympics. Then ran away quickly to go wait for my dad.
He had to work he we rushed to get some stuff.
We traveled all around West dale, to clean some houses for this one guy my dad works for.
My dad let me text Aria with his phone, made my day, basically. :3
At this one house, the ceiling was so fucking low holy crap, I couldn't even go down there x3
I just chilled with some girls guinea pig while my dad worked.
Then on the way back to the truck, I was running then I slipped, and almost died. x33


Then I went to the Laundromat, and chilled and stuffs.
Then traveled to Metro to buy Ice Cream; best adventure ever. 8D
Now I'm listening to music, and talking to Stefan through fb xD
I'm just bored. ;P


I really hope Aria comes to Hamilton soon. 8D


I can't believe it took me this long to admit you two are so annoying together.
But I don't really care. If you want to get mad at me, go ahead. But I don't care if I make you mad or hurt your feelings, we're no longer friends, so your opinions no longer matter to me. c:
And go ahead, blame this all on me, but this really is no longer my fault.


Kay, I have to sleep now, 
school and stuff.
Kay night. C:

Time for a murderous rampage? I think so.

Time to pull out my hit list and going to kill lots of people on my wondrous murderous rampage. :D


Why are people such nincompoops?
Seriously.


'he has no idea what goes on through her mind. she's so good at pretending. he will never know how many tears are fallen each night for him. nor the endless hours that she wastes thinking; maybe, just maybe."

:D...scratch that...D:*

ɑnd thɑt’s whɑt you do when you cɑre ɑbout someone. you fight like hell to mɑke sure you keep them. even if they ɑren’t yours, you fight just to know you’re ɑlive. becɑuse you know thɑt without them, you’d hɑve no reɑson to breathe.


I had a wonderful dream last night. :3
It made me happy, x3
Basically it just went like this:


Clara and Aria were over and we were making plans to have a big get together thing the following Friday.
I can't really remember Exactly what happened, or what they were saying. It was a good dream though, because Aria's cute and stuff. And Clara is awesome. 
Well, after that it was the next day, then Aria and Elizabeth came over to go to Eric's house, apparently.
Then we were all just chillin x3
then the next day, Aria came over with some girl :/


But it was still a good dream x3


If you're everything you say you are, then come close and hold my heart.♫


Omg, seriously? Please stop lying to me. This is starting to get really annoying.
Oh ps, when will you start caring that I exist again? Ever?
This is, what? The eighth time? :/
*rage*
*end rant*


I'm going to the mall with Hannah later. I was supposed to hang out with Quinn and Chelsey, but guess not... :/


Why is everything in my life such crap right now? ><
How come no one ever wants to hang out with me, or invite me to things? D:
This is no fun at all.
I'm such a lonely person, with no friends D:

"I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, hurt people, but when I say sorry. I mean it."

Just has to do with something that happened yesterday.
I just kind of hate when people don't believe when I'm sorry.
Of course I'm sorry. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.
You think I'd lie to you?
Never. ♥


Also, another thing that bothers me:
When people respond to important questions with one only one word.
I already knew you don't care, 
but you could at least properly answer me.
And "Sure" does not suffice. 
I asked you an important question that could make everything easier.
I know you're probably annoyed since I always ask you those types of questions, but I needed to know.
You could at least attempt or pretend to care.
I need to know the truth for once.
But you're clearly not good at that.


It's stupid that I miss you.
It's stupid that you're all that's on my mind.
But it's even more stupid that every memory I have of us, goes through my mind each day,
But you most likely forgot all about them.
Forgot all about me.
Doesn't anything we had, mean anything at all to you?
Guess not. 
Even though you do this to me, I still can't let go.




I don't really want to leave you behind. 
But apparently you can't stay all mine. 
So I'll try to let you go. You're not mine to own. 
If I let it go. If I let this go. If I let you go. 
Would the scars continue to show?♫


Every night turns to day, and everyone has to change. Now you're gone, 
and you're on to the next one. This time I've got to live without you, woah, 
and you're on to the next one. ♫


Baby, don't talk to me. I'm trying to let go. Not loving you is harder than you know. Cause girl you're driving me so crazy. How can I miss you if you never would stay? If you need time I guess I'll go away. Inside me now there's only heartache and pain. So where's the fire? You've become the rain. Are we just lost in time? I wonder if your love's the same. Cause I'm not over you. And if you don't want me than, I guess I'll have to go. Not loving you is harder than you know. ♫


You left me on the side of the road, now I've got no place to go, you brought the flood. It's on my brain, driving me insane. It's on my mind all of the time and if it left I would be fine. ♫


Take my life and then I'll feel okay. ♫




I actually love Escape The Fate so much. x3
All of their songs are brilliant.
Their album This War Is Ours, is pure genius.
Only if Ronnie was still there. D:

Cause only you can make me happy.

So, I no longer know what I'm doing with my life anymore.
It feels like everything just kind of fell apart.
I have a feeling I may be getting into my old habits with school and such.
And that's really not a good thing...
It's kind of just getting to the point again where I don't even see a point to tomorrow...

I really need to stop thinking like this.
I can't though.
I need help. :C

I really thought everything was falling into place, and everything was getting better. But I realized it's not.
I'm stupid.
I really am.
To think that some of the people I called friend, actually don't care at all.
To think you would possibly feel the same about me, but no. You don't care. You never did. I just sit there and tell you all this stuff about how I feel. And you could care less. You most likely think I'm annoying and that I just bother you. I probably never meant anything to you. You probably don't even want to see me. But that's fine....*end rant* :c

I also realized I need to stop talking. Me speaking just somehow makes everything worse...

And this is where I say something terrible and say "instead of just not talking, maybe I should just die, everything would be much better that way"
But yea, that's just how my stupid mind works. :/

And this is where I apologize for being stupid, a horrible friend,  and whatever else. D:
*dies*

Ughhh.

What a wonderful way to start my fucking morning. >< 


Why doesn't anyone ever take me seriously?
When it comes to being sick, they think I'm faking.
When it comes to me liking you, you think I'm just joking.


Now I have the hiccups, am about to throw up, and cry, and I just want to die. :c
And I really want to talk to you. :c

Eff this...

I could probably care less about a stupid promise right now...what does it matter anyway? You wouldn't care.

Like seriously..

Why am I not surprised? ><

omfg.

So since everyone clearly doesn't know me at all, and took the stuff in my last post seriously.
oh my fucking god.
seriously?
I would never actually do that :/
And to a certain individual who had to take this "fight" way too far: fuck off.
Seriously, that was way too rude, and I'm just so angry now.
And yea, you're right, you are a jerk whom I hate now.


Omfg Aria you always know how to make me feel better LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

·$4,1~ † TrickSTAR † ~    ≧∀≦    And if I die in my sleep, are you still willing to be everything you promised you would be? says:
 Rofl you seem obsessed with Lights x3
kankowski. says:
 I am. :3
·$4,1~ † TrickSTAR † ~    ≧∀≦    And if I die in my sleep, are you still willing to be everything you promised you would be? says:
 One of my best friends knows her rofl
 They grew up together
kankowski. says:
 *hyperventilates* O.o;

And this is beginning to get to me...

I tried to tell you before I left, but I was screaming under my breath.  You are the only thing that makes sense, just ignore all this present tense. ♫


Lyrics that fit with last night^ 
^^;


I'm more angry now than anything. I'm extremely upset about this. But the anger cancels out the sadness.
This doesn't even make any sense. You're so confusing. From my perspective, I didn't do anything to you. It would be great if you could at least tell me what I did, so I wouldn't be so confused. And you still ignore me constantly, even though yesterday was the first time we saw each other in like five months. But still, nothing. Not even one word. This isn't even fair. Could you at least explain to me what is even going on between us? Because I have no clue. I have no idea what this "fight" is about. I just want to talk to you, and for us to be friends. I'm trying to fix things between us but you're not making that very easy. But if you want to be difficult, and mean to me, then go ahead. But just know all I did was try to be your friend. :/




That was Caroline's rant of the day. Now I must go help Hannah pack.
Have a nice day.
Goodbye.
><

There's just too much on my mind right now. o.o;

1. I really want to talk to you, I know you're not in the best mood, but I still wish you would want to talk to me about it.

2. That gift I bought you two years ago; what am I supposed to do with it? I still have it, and it's just sitting in my closet. :/

3.I feel completely forgotten.

4. School starts in five days, and I still don't have a uniform. Mom, why the hell did you throw my uniform out? ><

5. I don't understand Tumblr.

6. I really hope I get to see you soon. You don't understand how excited I am for that day.

7. I really wish you didn't hate me.

8. I miss the way things used to be between us. :C

9. Redgie is really fat. :c

10. I tried lightening my hair today, what a waste of five dollars and an hour of my life.

Well that's just great.

You you we're friends, and everything's fine, and you say you're just always busy which is why we don't hang out, but then you go and say you're free to hang out with everybody else?
What did I ever to do you?
I seriously just don't get it.

Just something I want to get off my chest, don't bother reading this, it's a waste of your time.

I just want to talk to you...
That's it.
And the fact you won't talk to me,
completely leaves my mind utterly confused.
Because it's not like I did anything.
I just want to be your friend.
Why can't you just understand that?...
I want, more than anything, for things between us to go back to the way the were.
Not only to the way we actually talked.
But the way you tell me one thing, and everyone else says the complete opposite.
I just want to talk to you, without having to worry about annoying you.
I want us to be friends.
Please?
♥

Here we go again, I kind of want us to be more than friends.
Woah oh, what are you waiting for, take a bit of my heart tonight. ♫
(LOL I just love this song. xD)

grrrr.

So it seems facebook really does hate me.
all my notes disappeared. :/
i wanted to find a certain note i wrote but my notes are gone. :/

i love this:
"he wants to bomb your fuckin house,
with different, chemical compounds.
he's mad that you compared him to a stuffed mushroom toy
he said, that's not me, im a real boy"
*dies laughing*
Quinn pro at remaking lyrics.
especially about Stefan and Narcy.

Quinn, you should start talking now. since we're on the phone and you haven't said anything for the past ten minutes. Kay thanks.

*cries*

I just try to help people out, because I do my best to be a really good friend, so I tell people I'm there for them, and am there if they need me. Because that's what a good friend does. But no. Every time I try and help people out, they never want to talk to me. I try to help as much as I can. But people say they just don't want to talk, or anything else. And it makes me upset because you have someone, who is trying to help you, who is there for you, and you push them away.
Thanks alot.
You all make me feel like a horrible friend, when I can't help you out.


I;m seriously done with this...
Bye facebook.
So much drama happening over facebook that I just don't want to be apart of it anymore.

Sheep.

каикоωѕкı. says:
I am angry.
\\♥Quinntino♥// says:
me too
but dont worry about it
каикоωѕкı. says:
too effing late
i'm gonna go on a murderous rampage.
\\♥Quinntino♥// says:
NO
wait
:c
*grabs pitchfork*
lets go
>8D
каикоωѕкı. says:
LOOOOOL ILOVEYOU
\\♥Quinntino♥// says:
lmao x3.

Yay. :3 <3


Wow. I am so angry.
Why are people so effing stupid?
Like, I can't even believe it. ><

Omfg I can't stop crying.
Holy crap, I can't take this anymore.

Screw it, I don't care if *you* think I'm "starting drama" let me frecking talk about what I want.

You are so stupid. You think you're such a good friend, but you keep starting all of this stuff. You may not be starting it per say, but you keep it going, you don't let it go, you dwell in the stupid stuffs. Ugh.
And I honestly don't care that this is public, I can say whatever I want. If you have a problem with it, then complain about it to somebody else.
I know that sounds horrible, but I'm so sick of this.

I also cannot stop crying, because I miss Clara so much.
it's actually like, once she got onto that plane to leave me, she took a piece of my heart with her, now I'm incomplete until the day she comes back to me. D:

And just everything else is piling up again. The drama was gone for one moment.
But it somehow never fucking leaves me.
I want it to end. Now.

Why are all my friends so stupid? that really isn't meant to be taken offensively. Just, no matter what, my group of friends always has some sort of drama going on. People need to stop making such big deals of everything. I'm so pissed.

Whatever, I'm making changes to my friends list. Some people just don't belong there anymore. All they do is make me mad.