Roaroarmeow.

Oh hello there.
I didn't go to school today.
Because, well....because I just didn't want to.
I'm all depressed and stuff, and I wasn't in the mood to live, so I just didn't go.
...I need to make a doctors appointment, Caroline just realized.

Lololol Aria just signed online. ^-^
Kay anyway.
Basically, all day, I've been on shanalogic.com
it's this cute little website with cute plushies, shirts, necklaces, and so many other things.
I'm inlove with it.
And I found all these things that I want,
Like a camera necklace, it's only twelve dollars, so hopefully my dad will let me get it. 8D
A gold key necklace that is actually gorgeous x3
I also found this shirt that I want to get Aria x3
Because he's nice, and when I saw it I immediately thought of him.
Since he loves wolves and all. This be it. x3

I am now going to go cry.
Have a nice day.

lolololol fml

"So please don't hate me"
I could never hate you, except for when I said I'd throw a pumpkin at your head, but that's a whole different story. LOL

"He has a point, many points actually. So many points that their stabbing me in the heart"

*sigh* :c
trying so hard not to burst out into tears while I type him this message.
Why does his words have to hurt so bad?
shit, I have to hurry, fuck, fml, dfv,jregrjltckrnh

I have to head over to the laundromat, but I'll add more to this post later, cause I have plenty more to say,
so bye.
*hopes to get hit by a car on the way there* D:

I'm at the laundromat now.
I'm not as angry as I was before.
James messaged me back, and all is fine now, everything was said and now we understand eachother better x3 he doesn't hate me, which is good, but he got mad for me asking if he did ^^;
we agreed to be good friends, and he said that next time him and his friends go to the movies, he said I should go and meet his friends, I was kinda like wtf? x3 but then I was like YAY! x33
then he was like "I'll see you at the dance tomorrow :)"
Then I was no longer angry. x3
I talked to Natasha, and ranted, and felt a lot better after x3
I still might throw a pumpkin at his face, wait no, I forgot Natasha and I agreed to throw it at his legs, that way he'd break his legs, and not be able to run away from me, and his face would stay beautiful LOL

So the things I actually wanted to talk about:
Many funny things happened today, so I shall write them here ;D

"Anyone ever had a fried mars bar before?" -Mrs. Dinoi
"No, but I've had a mars bar" -Brittany

"Hey, wanna do me a favour?" -Me
"Sure, what?" -Andrew
"Wanna kill me?" -Me
"Uhm, no, why?" -Andrew
"Because I'm sad D:" -Me
"No, be happy! *pats head*" -Andrew
"Ahh don't hurt me!" -Me
"Don't hurt me? You go from suicidal, to 'don't hurt me'?" -Andrew

There were more, but I don't have my notebook, that I wrote them in, and I don't remember D: so I guess I'll just post the rest later. x3

I'm watching The Rocky Horrow Glee Show. :3
LOLOL Artie looks so cute x33 omfg

D'aww there's a little boy in here who keeps coming in the office, smiling, then running away, damn adorable. xD
LOL he just growled at me D:
And he just meowed
HE JUST POKED MEEE
Oh my goodness, this child is so freakin cute.
"Look over there there's a cow! *runs away*
and now he's getting on my nerves o.o;

Mmmmmmmmmm John Stamos ;3
Omfg this is so good. 8D

I'm actually so excited for the dance tomorrow,
actually, about the whole day. :3
After choir, I'm gonig straight to Natasha's house to get ready for the dance, and we're going to go together, damn, it's gonna be soooo good.
I'm legitimately so excited.
Hopefully nothing bad happens tomorrow. Or I'll just want to die. :c

LOL "give me some chocolate or I will cut you" lawlotronomatic x33

And I want to go home now. :c
But I have to stay here for like, another hour. D:
OMFG kirt *gasms* o.o;
AHHHH ARTIE!
FUCK OMFG I"M DYING
SOOOOOO GOOOOODDDD

I just cut my lip, shit, i'm bleeding now. :C
fucking fantastic

I'll end this now, and tend to my wounded lip.

Goodbye all. x3

krjfrctt waahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh D':

Why must everyone hate me? D:
This was such a crumby weekend.
Except for yesterday.
But still.
No one will talk to me.
Aria basically just admitted he hates me o.o;
I don't get him, he makes no sense.
And James like, died or something...he won't reply to my text messages anymore, and he hasn't been on msn, he either died, or just completely hates me now.
Wtf, I just don't get it.
*cries forever*
And Redgie won't come back inside.
fmlfmlfmlfml
Why must my life suck so bad right now?

"Why don't you want to talk to me?..."
"Because I'm busy lol"
You're watching freaking Aladdin! >:C

D':!

Can't you just see that I'm breaking on the inside?
And just smiling, just to make it seem that I'm alright with this?
The fact you just won't bother to spend time with me because of this is killing me on the inside.
I mean, I know you're always busy,
But I've been trying so hard to make plans with you, but you just keep turning them down..
It kills me to see you everyday, to say hi and smile, like nothing is wrong,
knowing you won't even try, and that I am, and always be just a friend to you.
I just want you to know, that I wish you'd try.
I just want you to notice, that I am not kidding when I say, I truly, genuinely like you more than I can even describe...
Please, just, give this a chance?....
You'll never know unless you don't try.

Just stuff that's on my mind. o.o;

"5508.) I wish you hadn't backstabbed me countless times. You were my best friend, I trusted you dearly. But hey, now you stretch the truth and distort facts. You think you can fool everyone, and you hate me because I'm not a backstabbing hypocritical bitch like you."


Rant #1. I actually hate cheaters. I don't understand why people feel the need to cheat. I've always been there for you, yet you pushed me away. And you only want to see her, yet, she cheated on you, and you could care less about me, even though all I've ever done was be there for you. I don't get it. You barely ever talk to me now, and you waste your time on people that don't matter. And I've always been here, but you haven't noticed.


Rant #2. I pour my heart out to you, explain everything to you, and tell you exactly how I feel about you. And all you can say is thank you? Not even reply with anything else? Just thank you? I understand you don't feel the same, but that doesn't mean you can just leave it at that...


Rant #3. I'm sick of everybody pretending to be my friends. You say you're my friend, and then I find out you actually don't like me, and think all I do is seek attention and complain. Why bother if you just don't like me? We're both clearly wasting each others time. o.o;


Rant #4. My cat is so fat. And he is seriously retarded. D: he drives me crazy. But i love him.


Rant #5. I hate when you tell a guy how you feel about them, and they say they don't feel the same, and then say "any guy would be lucky to have you" really? if any guy would be lucky to have me, why wouldn't you be?


Rant #6. I don't get why people just don't take chances anymore. You just toss that chance away like it's nothing. Well, you know what? you will never get that chance again. So you better take it while it's there. It's not going to hurt anything by taking risks and chances and seeing what could be, instead of letting that moment pass you by and then wonder what could've been. At least try, and see if something will come of it, instead of just not trying at all. Because you'll never know...things could happen when you least expect them to, and if you don't acknowledge them...well, that's just not good, now is it?


And that's basically all that I can think of, for now...
these certain things have been bothering me for a while..


Why don't you want me? Why don't you need me? Why don't you want me, when you know that I want you? Oh, you know I do. You know you never really gave it a chance.♫


Explains *Exactly* how I feel.^
Actually, it more or less explains my current situation.
Since, he won't give me a chance, which kills me.
And he knows how I feel about him, but it still doesn't seem to change anything.


People always say I'm so nice, and cute and any guy would be lucky to have me. Oh, okay. Then how come no guy ever likes me back when I like them? Please explain that to me. :/


Why can't someone give me a chance for once? It's not going to hurt anything if you just give me a chance and see if anything will come of this...


Am I really that easy to just throw away without any hesitation? D;


I always wanted you for myself, so tell that wasn't how your heart felt,
I always wanted you for myself, so tell me, tell me, and make my heart melt. ♫

I miss you so much it hurts...:/

I feel so empty inside right now.
So forgotten, and all those sad feelings.
There's a giant ball of sadness in my stomach, as it feels like, and I just really feel like crying.


Now, some amazing lyrics that explain exactly how I feel about him;


Oh no, this couldn't be more unexpected
And I can tell I've been moving in so slow
Don't let it throw you off too far
Cause I'll be running right behind you

Could this be out of line? 
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oohhh, when I'm around you I'm predictable
Cause I believe in loving you at first sight
I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to..
To take a hold of you

Could this be out of line?
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oh you're everything I'm wanting
Come to think of it, I'm aching
On account of my transgression..
Will you welcome this confession?

Could this be out of line?
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Could this be out of line?
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

My day was poop.

I was just so depressed today.
I felt so alone, because everyone was at Science Olympics.
I was still upset over my hair. I mean, I love it. But it's like, you try to be different, but you're too scared to stand out because everyone will make fun of you. I try not to care what people say or think, but it's hard. :/
There was way too much confusion going on in my mind. I wish I would stop thinking of all these different possibilities, what could happen, and just everything about him. It's driving me insane. I like him, and I...*sigh* I won't even get into it...
During Cosmo today, I couldn't take it, I asked to go to the washroom, and once I got into the hall, I started bawling. It was so bad.
Then when I went back to class, all calm and collected, I guess I still looked sad, because Ms. Dinoi asked if I was okay, and I just started crying again. Then she said many words that made me feel much better. I love her. She hugged me, and then I went back to braiding.


During lunch I ate two burgers.
Shit, eh?
Nick and I sat at Clara's locker at lunch, which coincidentally just happens to be right outside James class. x3
I almost started crying several times then. But I didn't. (y)
Religion was stupid. We had a test, and I most likely failed.
Before fifth period actually started, I put my books in the auditorium, and went to Clara's locker to write her a note. James walked out of his class, cause I guess he stayed in class during his lunch, and I went over to his locker. We had lovely conversations. :3
And this basically describes it all:

"

it’s the way you make me smile, when i don’t even want to laugh."

Yeah...♥
We walked to class together, and we were talking about how none of my friends were at school except for Sammie and Nick, and he's like "you should talk to my friend Alex D'alves, he's a nice guy" then yeah...
I told him I was going to the laundromat after school, which is where I am now. And I said "You should stop by if you're not busy *thumbs up*" and he said "I will try, but I'm going to my friend Spencer's later, but I'll see, and I'll text you later!" :3
Musical theater was fun, we played this game, called...Mafia and something? I didn't understand it, but I died. Apparently I fell off the stage and died because someone peed all over the stage? Loool Victoria comes up with the funniest stuff. 
Mrs. Re wanted me to bring a note to Mrs. Koscicsdfbgt? I don't even know her name, I didn't even know who she was. o.o;
But yeah, so I walked out of the auditorium, and there was James! ^-^
I was so happy. x3 
he was like "Oh hey Caroline! whats up?" and I'm like "nothing really ;P" and he's like "where are you going?" and I said "going to deliver this note to someone, yet I don't know who or where I'm going. But it'll be a fun adventure" and he's just like "that sounds fun, well I'll talk to you later!" and he did that, cute wave peace thing he always does ^-^;
Seriously, whenever I walk away from him, I just have that "he makes my heart so happy" kind of feeling. Well, it's a feeling now. It's a combination of butterflies, and feeling nervous and anxious and just excited, like you want to throw up rainbows and dance, and throw yourself into his arms and hug him and never let go.  x3 he just makes me so happy. Even after having such a bad day, I can honestly say just seeing him made me happy. I know it sounds so stupid, but it's true. His face is so cute, and his smile is adorable, and nyaaa just his face is wonderful. x33 ♥


For the rest of Musical Theater, Kyle just talked to us senior students about stuff that was going on, and how the wolfette costumes make them look like sluts, so that obviously needs to change. x3


After class, I kind of just ran out of class, and went straight to my locker. I was able to get the King and James bus  right away, and I was talking to Nicole for a bit. Then James got on the bus. ^-^
We were all talking for a bit. I didn't really know what to say to him though...he stood there as if he wanted to say something, or he wanted me to say something, but no one said anything, so he walked away and started talking to his friends.


Now I'm at the laundromat, and I wish he was here...or at least on msn so I could talk to him. x3
I really hope we can hang out soon. I decided that when we hang out, I may or may not tell him certain things. But I mean, that probably won't be for awhile. So I have time to talk to him more, and just let time and the mysterious powers of life do their thing. x3
Hopefully they do good things, they seemed to do good things today and other days before. 


Dear mysterious powers of life,
I would really appreciate if you would let James and I be more than friends, 
if you do such acts, I will love you forever more. :3


I'm done now...x3
ALSO, I's excited for Lights' concert November 17. 8D 
♥

"and don’t mind me if i get weak in the knees, coz you have that affect on me, you do." Mhm! ^-^

fml D:

Why does this always happen to me?
I basically wasted my whole day, waiting for something I knew wouldn't happen.
" I feel bad because you always want to hang out with me but I never can"
That just makes me sound pathetic. :/
I'm so freakin' stupid.

:D...scratch that...D:*

ɑnd thɑt’s whɑt you do when you cɑre ɑbout someone. you fight like hell to mɑke sure you keep them. even if they ɑren’t yours, you fight just to know you’re ɑlive. becɑuse you know thɑt without them, you’d hɑve no reɑson to breathe.


I had a wonderful dream last night. :3
It made me happy, x3
Basically it just went like this:


Clara and Aria were over and we were making plans to have a big get together thing the following Friday.
I can't really remember Exactly what happened, or what they were saying. It was a good dream though, because Aria's cute and stuff. And Clara is awesome. 
Well, after that it was the next day, then Aria and Elizabeth came over to go to Eric's house, apparently.
Then we were all just chillin x3
then the next day, Aria came over with some girl :/


But it was still a good dream x3


If you're everything you say you are, then come close and hold my heart.♫


Omg, seriously? Please stop lying to me. This is starting to get really annoying.
Oh ps, when will you start caring that I exist again? Ever?
This is, what? The eighth time? :/
*rage*
*end rant*


I'm going to the mall with Hannah later. I was supposed to hang out with Quinn and Chelsey, but guess not... :/


Why is everything in my life such crap right now? ><
How come no one ever wants to hang out with me, or invite me to things? D:
This is no fun at all.
I'm such a lonely person, with no friends D:

Cause only you can make me happy.

So, I no longer know what I'm doing with my life anymore.
It feels like everything just kind of fell apart.
I have a feeling I may be getting into my old habits with school and such.
And that's really not a good thing...
It's kind of just getting to the point again where I don't even see a point to tomorrow...

I really need to stop thinking like this.
I can't though.
I need help. :C

I really thought everything was falling into place, and everything was getting better. But I realized it's not.
I'm stupid.
I really am.
To think that some of the people I called friend, actually don't care at all.
To think you would possibly feel the same about me, but no. You don't care. You never did. I just sit there and tell you all this stuff about how I feel. And you could care less. You most likely think I'm annoying and that I just bother you. I probably never meant anything to you. You probably don't even want to see me. But that's fine....*end rant* :c

I also realized I need to stop talking. Me speaking just somehow makes everything worse...

And this is where I say something terrible and say "instead of just not talking, maybe I should just die, everything would be much better that way"
But yea, that's just how my stupid mind works. :/

And this is where I apologize for being stupid, a horrible friend,  and whatever else. D:
*dies*

Why do I even bother?

I need to stop talking.
Because I talk to much.
Cause apparently that's a bad thing.
And I just made him hate me even more than he already does.
D:

And this is beginning to get to me...

I tried to tell you before I left, but I was screaming under my breath.  You are the only thing that makes sense, just ignore all this present tense. ♫


Lyrics that fit with last night^ 
^^;


I'm more angry now than anything. I'm extremely upset about this. But the anger cancels out the sadness.
This doesn't even make any sense. You're so confusing. From my perspective, I didn't do anything to you. It would be great if you could at least tell me what I did, so I wouldn't be so confused. And you still ignore me constantly, even though yesterday was the first time we saw each other in like five months. But still, nothing. Not even one word. This isn't even fair. Could you at least explain to me what is even going on between us? Because I have no clue. I have no idea what this "fight" is about. I just want to talk to you, and for us to be friends. I'm trying to fix things between us but you're not making that very easy. But if you want to be difficult, and mean to me, then go ahead. But just know all I did was try to be your friend. :/




That was Caroline's rant of the day. Now I must go help Hannah pack.
Have a nice day.
Goodbye.
><

I'm so sick of this.

I'm sick of constantly losing my friends.
I say one stupid thing and I mess everything up.
It's like everyone hates me now.
This is great.
*cries*

Good day. :3

So this my day;
Woke up at like 10, waited for three hours for Eric, Dom, Clara and Scott to come over, then we went over to Sammie's, and instead of gonig to the orientation thingy, Sammie just came with us. Me, Sammi, Clara and Eric, all crammed into the back seat of Scotts car and then we went to Erics house to find Scotts phone (which was at my house) then we went to Adrian's house. But no one was there. So we walked to Dom's house, then walked back to Adrians. Waited for a really long time. I think one of the funniest things was when Sammie and I were just sitting on the drive way, waiting for Narcy. We waited for so long. This person really far away was walking towards us, and I'm like "I think that's him!" and Sammie said "No, I think that's an old lady" so I was like kay whatever, then the person walked closer and I'm like "That is him!" and we both couldn't stop laughing, cause Sammie said he looked like a girl. 8D an old lady to be exact. We all just waited for a really long time for Adrian and the others to come.
We waited more for Aaron to take a shower, then we were off ;D
We ended up going to Splitsville just to play pool. It was fun. They played like 438875 times. I swear, it felt like Narcy won every game o.o; but he didn't, he lost multiple times, what a loser. :3
I was really hyper while they played pool. I don't know why. I told Aaron a story about rabbits. and a certain male rabbit. Who ahted a female rabbit. It's funny how Aaron knew who I was talking about. And he said he'd hit him with the pool stick thing for me. 8D
Well, okay. I said that. He just said he'll beat him in pool. x3
That was fun overal. And then we were leaving, and even thoguh there was this horrible awkwardness between me and Narcy. (I don't know why there just was.) I decided to say goodbye to him, just to be nice, and according to Sammie he said bye back. Made me happy. x3
And on the way back, Scott almost got into multiple accidents. xD

I'm tired now. *yawns*
bye.

Maybe I should sleep now...or not.

It is 5:16 am, and again, I can not sleep.
I'm a tiny bit tired, but I can't sleep.
Stupid summer, messing up my sleepy pattern.

just cause I'm super bored, I will write about what I did today.

-woke up at 2ish, by getting yelled at by my dad over the phone.
-biked over to the laundromat, just to have my dad meet me there, even though he told me to go there to fix the machines
-went to McDonald's with Hannah
-stayed at the laundromat for multiple hours.
-watched Degrassi♥
-went to the store and bought ice cream
-chilled
-complained about the hatred of my best friend. :C
-Texted Le Stefan
-ranted about how stupid Stefan is.
-talked to Quinn and Chelsey
-Love Quinn and Chelsey
-drank energy drink at 3 am
-kept texting Stefan
-complained more about Stefan
-Read lines for musical theater
-planned to take a shower but didn't (i will soon)
-still waiting for Stefan to text back o.o;
-wishing someone would come online and talk to me D:

damn..I hate Rhianna. Like, fuck. She's so annoying :/
I hate that thing she does with her lip. fuck.

I actually have no freaking clue, but I THINK I might be hanging out with Stefan tomorrow o.o; errrr today.
I told him I wanted to talk to him, and I'm pretty sure he agreed to such things so, yea. I just don't really know, cause he never gives a straight answer. But whatever.

ohey Katy Perry ♥

i listened to her new album on YouTube, dang it it's good :3
I like her song Firework.
Makes me happy.
And "The One That Got Away"
YAY!

*yawns*

Redgie is fat. Like extremely.

Earlier, when I was texting Stefan, I had to leave my dads cell in the other room, well, just cause LOLL
so I told Sadie to tell me whenever he texted back.
And she did good work.
Cause every time I walked in to see Sadie, there would be an unread text. 8D

I love Chelsey. A lot. She's my wife. And I love her. A lot. I already said that. But I love her. A lot. ♥

AND QUINN'S AWESOME SAUCE
(but he doesn't like talking to me any more)

I really should go take a shower soon.
Hopefully before 6 am.

I hope Stefan texts me back before 7 at least o.o;
cause my dad will flip if he gets a text from Stefan.
He'll be like "Why do I keep getting texts from all these people? It costs so much money, please stop yatta yatta yatta"

I got all mad earlier, all over again, cause it pisses me off that people still can't let things go. I mean, that happened like, two months ago. It's over. I don't care anymore. I got over it, so should everyone else. It isn't even that big a deal, a lot of people lose feelings for someone. So, grow up, and get over it. I don't even get why you're the one who won't let it go, since it has nothing to do with you.


narcyscutewhat


okay i'ma go take shower then collapse in my bed :3

btw i love Lights.
And I'm legit excited for the Hedley concert in October.
I will legit cry if I don't/can't go.
I need to see Lights. :c
And I love Hedley.
And I'm also excited to see These Kids Wear Crowns.
They are actually really good. ♥
BAAAHHH LIGHTS♥



Okaybye.

Narcy's a disease? what? D:
apparently there's a lot of disease or something that start with "narc"
narcoma
narcomancy
narcomania
narcomaniac
narcomaniacal
narcomata
narcomatous

this is entertaining. LOOOOL

why am i doing this?

i must sleep ><
stupid Caroline *hits self*

Roar.

Good news and bad news
Which one first?
Good?
Well Narcy didn't block me. ^^;
So that's good.

Now for the bad news. I am having the worst day
I stayed up until 7, then woke up at 4:30, half an hour later my dad forces me to go to the laundromat, but guilt tripping me into doing it. I sat there for 5 hours. I didn't even eat anything because my dad promised to save me Chicken Alfredo. I just got home, to Sadie eating my fucking dinner. Thanks dad for not even bothering to put it in the fridge. I'm really hungry. Hi Hannah. Why aren't you going in the hot tub yet? Go. x3 Why are you still here? You just talked to me, you fool. That's not a wand. It's a popsicle stick. You're bubbly. I don't need a cup holder. Stop laughing. This is serious. GOSH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Thank you. Wow, everyone's probably really confused.
"CAROLINE! COME HERE" "NO"! "COME HERE" "NOOOO"
I'm very upset.
I should go see my dad.

Yea....

If I could just see you,
Everything would be alright,
If I'd see you,
This darkness would turn to light.
And I will walk on water,
And you will catch me if I fall,
And I will get lost into your eyes,
I know everything will be alright.
♥

...:c

Storm-Lifehouse. ♥




I know you didn't bring me out here to drown, so why am I ten feet under and upside down? Barely surviving has become my purpose, cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface.

And you, my love, are gone...

So glide away on soapy heels
And promise not to promise anymore
And if you come around again
Then I will take, then I will take the chain from off the door

I'll never say I'll never love
But I don't say a lot of things
And you my love are gone.

One of my favourite songs right now.

Basically how I feel right now..

Hold me up and don't let go
I've had enough
I'm tired of breathing
Tired of feeling
Tired of looking at the past for meaning
Tired of running
Tired of searching
Tired of trying
But i'm not tired of you

I don't like this:

"everyone has a friend who becomes obsessed with boys that they barely know! :) "
What a stupid Facebook group.
Because I pretty much know, that all my friends who join it, are talking about me...T_T

Redgie's beating me up...well, my sweater that is. Stop it Redgie!

...okay bye