"That’s what I’m afraid of… not being enough. Not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough."

Yeah, that's how I feel towards you.
That I'm just not good enough.
And never will be good enough.
People may think "Oh, here we go again"
But that's not it.
Things are different with you.
This definitely is not like it was with everyone else.
It's completely different.
I would like something to come of this.
But then again, I'm not good enough.


I just wish we talked more.


^^;

I'm going Tumblr crazy right now. o.o;

"She’s the girl that has a few best friends & doesn’t need anymore, the girl that laughs the hardest at her own jokes. She’s the girl that will hang up on you, but then call you right back & say sorry. She’s the girl who will never leave your side when you need her, the girl who will go out of her way to cheer you up. She’s the girl who never sleeps without her teddy bear by her side, she’s the girl who says she isn’t ticklish, but really is. She’s the girl who will not give up on you if she really believes in you. She’s the girl who believes in loving somebody forever."

Omg, I just found this on this girls tumblr. 8D

Okay, okay. I'll stop now. x3

Evil bugs swarming around my computer, please go die. D;

THEY'RE MULTIPLYING!
D:
AHHH ONE WAS ON ME
AHHHHHHH

I don't think I can even say what I was gongi to in this post.
I hate bugs.
Omg D:
They're crawling all over me.
omfg i'm dying.

I'll post it tomorrow D:

*runs away* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I actually had a good day...

Until now. o.o;

So good day.
Got everything fixed with my teachers, and everything is better at school.
Choir and stuff was fun.
I realized a something, that only Clara will ever know. o.o;
It's not important enough for others to know.

Well I got home and wanted to take a nap, but now I;m just angry because of this:
"No wonder why Stefan, Aria and Narcy never liked you :S"
Are you fucking kidding me?
Some fucking friend you were
Also, proof you weren't ever actually my friend? I think so. :/
I hope you twist your ankle or something...


This is so stupid.
I'm getting blamed for absolutely everything, everyone now hates me, when it's not just My fault. Will you ever see that? o.o;
You tell me not to tell you to shut the fuck up, or anything, yet you said much worse? O.o;
Yeah, this isn't fair.


I suggest you just shut up and leave me alone now.
The start of this fight had nothing to do with you, yet you're the only one all mad and stuff. Just stop. You're acting so stupid.
If you don't want to be my friend, then stop talking to me, stop writing shit about this.
It's fucking done. We're done. So stop fucking talking about it.
*end rage*


THE BOTH OF YOU SHOULD JUST FUCKING SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M SO DONE WITH YOU, YOU CLEARLY NEVER CARED OR WERE MY FRIENDS IF NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT ME IS FUCKING SHIT. ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GO JUMP OFF A FUCKING CLIFF.
Okay, now the rage is over. (:


I'm going to take a nap now.
Death is a possible option aswell.

Lalalalalalalalala BATMAN :')

I'm hyper.
And surprisingly in a good mood.


I'm kind of glad my dad basically forced me to block all stupid people off of facebook and msn and stuff. He was right, it's better not to focus on pointless drama. And it is making me feel better.


But seriously, Pointless.


Just so you know, you're the only one who got all mad, and said crap. So don't even expect an apology from me, cause I could care less if we're friends or not at this point. You just proved you were never my friend to start with. Jsyk, you say all I do is complain? Whenever I talked to you, you did the same. That is, if you want to call talking about your feelings, complaining. I actually helped you and was there for you. If you don't want to see that, then cool. You're kind of acting like a huge bitch right now though. C:
Enjoy your life. (y)




The only good thing about yesterday was my dad saying these things:
"Want to know where I was while everyone was graduating? In my backyard drinking a beer"
"He's just a little prick and she's just a little slut" (this is why you don't anger my dad :/)
And
"You can do it, Caroline"
:3


I had such a good day, omfg.
The beginning sucked balls.
The worst part was going into Flemming's office attempting to cover my arm o.o;
But I succeeded 8D
Religion was iight, but I got called down to the social workers office, we talked for quite awhile ;o
I just had a lot to talk about.
Musical theater was amazing. So fun. 
We did vocal warm ups, which confused me, but nbd.
Then we played Telephone, and I had the honors of starting it off with "bob the builders best friend is a toaster" everyone looked at me like I was insane, but whatever x3
Then we played Taxi. But Clara blogged about that so I'm not going to bother.
After school I went to the Coffee House auditions with Clara just to watch, then chilled with everyone in Science Olympics. Then ran away quickly to go wait for my dad.
He had to work he we rushed to get some stuff.
We traveled all around West dale, to clean some houses for this one guy my dad works for.
My dad let me text Aria with his phone, made my day, basically. :3
At this one house, the ceiling was so fucking low holy crap, I couldn't even go down there x3
I just chilled with some girls guinea pig while my dad worked.
Then on the way back to the truck, I was running then I slipped, and almost died. x33


Then I went to the Laundromat, and chilled and stuffs.
Then traveled to Metro to buy Ice Cream; best adventure ever. 8D
Now I'm listening to music, and talking to Stefan through fb xD
I'm just bored. ;P


I really hope Aria comes to Hamilton soon. 8D


I can't believe it took me this long to admit you two are so annoying together.
But I don't really care. If you want to get mad at me, go ahead. But I don't care if I make you mad or hurt your feelings, we're no longer friends, so your opinions no longer matter to me. c:
And go ahead, blame this all on me, but this really is no longer my fault.


Kay, I have to sleep now, 
school and stuff.
Kay night. C:

This isn't fair D:

How come now everyone is ganging up on me?
First, I have two of my supposed friends yell at me for basically everything,
then, my dad completely screaming at me, for 1. writing "screw you all" on fb 2. yelling at him saying "i'm just talking to my friend" after he says "what did I just say? leave people alone caroline!"
And now someone saying "what is it this time?" after I tell him I'm crying.

Sorry if I ever went to you to talk, I never knew whenever I spoke it was like I'm complaining.

Time for a murderous rampage? I think so.

Time to pull out my hit list and going to kill lots of people on my wondrous murderous rampage. :D


Why are people such nincompoops?
Seriously.


'he has no idea what goes on through her mind. she's so good at pretending. he will never know how many tears are fallen each night for him. nor the endless hours that she wastes thinking; maybe, just maybe."

Lip rings are fun. 8D

So today, I spent the day with Sammie, Nick and Natasha. It was crazy good times. :3
We chilled at the Laundromat for most of the time.
Then went over to the Halloween store; Spirit Halloween.
It's so amazing over there 8D
I bought mustaches, rainbow socks, and some fake piercings x3
We all wore two, and it was just fun x3
At one point Natasha took six and put them all over her face, oh gosh xD
I stole Sammie's phone, and was texting Aria, he kind of hates me, and was being kind of rude. :/
But whatever...he's just clueless. (:
i'm gonna message him, hopefully he doesn't get annoyed by my constant messaging him :/
Now I'm watching Gossip Girl. :3
"You're world would be better with out me"
"True, but it wouldn't be my world with out you in it"
D'awww ♥
This lip ring is awesome, but it's starting to hurt x3
It's weird eating suckers with it bahaha.

I miss Chelsey Cole. :C

Kay I leave Laundromat now. Kay bye :3

This just seems to fit...

"I’ve been thinking lately of how much I miss you. Every time I hear certain songs or say certain things, I can’t get you off of my mind. Sitting in chemistry today I thought to myself “Last year, when I was sitting in this very seat, I was dating him.” Then it sent me through a wide array of emotions. First, I thought of how much you make me mad. I thought about how you used me. I thought about how you made me cry. It crossed my mind that maybe it wasn’t worth it. But it WAS. For the past few months I’ve been telling myself that we broke up for a reason. I’ve been trying to convince myself that I don’t like you and that I never really did. Lies. I miss you. You were a real BOYFRIEND to me. Not some fake shit that you see all the time in high school. I knew what we had was real. Now, I text nobody. I call nobody. I “facebook” nobody. Why? That’s what I did with you. Nothing’s ever the same. I pushed people away so I could be with you. Maybe it was a mistake, maybe it was for the best. But now I have nothing except the memories of what we used to be. What we had. We never fought. I can’t say that about any other relationship I have ever had. There is not ONE THING I could think of as to why I wouldn’t want to be with you, other than the fact that you hate me now. I always try to be nice, out of courtesy, but all I get is bullshit back. I doubt you read this anymore, so you’ll probably never even see what I’m saying to you. We weren’t together forever, but what we had was the real thing. You know when you’re with the right person. I knew. My biggest mistake was when I chose the wrong option. We could’ve worked it out, or just let it go. I decided to let it go, strictly out of anger. I have been regretting that every day. Nobody has ever compared to you and probably never will. There is so many things I could write here. This is my stream of consciousness about you. I don’t even know how to word how I feel. It’s indescribable."


I stole this from some random girl, but it seems to fit this situation perfectly. It's incredibly accurate, except for the chemistry thing and the "i don't go on 
facebook anymore" thing xD

fml...

Oh, and I'm most likely switching schools.

:D...scratch that...D:*

ɑnd thɑt’s whɑt you do when you cɑre ɑbout someone. you fight like hell to mɑke sure you keep them. even if they ɑren’t yours, you fight just to know you’re ɑlive. becɑuse you know thɑt without them, you’d hɑve no reɑson to breathe.


I had a wonderful dream last night. :3
It made me happy, x3
Basically it just went like this:


Clara and Aria were over and we were making plans to have a big get together thing the following Friday.
I can't really remember Exactly what happened, or what they were saying. It was a good dream though, because Aria's cute and stuff. And Clara is awesome. 
Well, after that it was the next day, then Aria and Elizabeth came over to go to Eric's house, apparently.
Then we were all just chillin x3
then the next day, Aria came over with some girl :/


But it was still a good dream x3


If you're everything you say you are, then come close and hold my heart.♫


Omg, seriously? Please stop lying to me. This is starting to get really annoying.
Oh ps, when will you start caring that I exist again? Ever?
This is, what? The eighth time? :/
*rage*
*end rant*


I'm going to the mall with Hannah later. I was supposed to hang out with Quinn and Chelsey, but guess not... :/


Why is everything in my life such crap right now? ><
How come no one ever wants to hang out with me, or invite me to things? D:
This is no fun at all.
I'm such a lonely person, with no friends D:

Don't try and tell that you never loved me, I know that you did, you said it and you wrote it down. ♫

Dancing at discos, Eating cheese on toast. Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy, But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around. ♫


Holy crap, I love Kate Nash so much x3 her songs are so cute.
Please check them out. 8D


Just a warning, I'm feeling in a bloggy mood right now, so this post is probably going to be really long. c:


Starting now! 8D


So, I haven't gone to school in like 43875648 days. I have my reasons. I'll start going next week, though. I promise.


I was going to go today, but...I don't know. Again, I have my reasons for not going. I'll fix this though, no need to worry.


I woke up to giant gusts of wind, it was crazy o.o;
Redgie was terrified. And when I walked downstairs. IT WAS A DISASTER! It's like a hurricane came through the kitchen. Everything was knocked over, and the window fell out. Everyone was probably at school while this crazy wind thing was going on, but still, it was insane.


OHH! and yesterday...x3
So I was talking to Eric while this happened. I heard like this squeeling from outside, so I thought Squirrels were fighting or something, so I looked out the window, and on the telephone wire, I saw this figure. Mind you, it was dark and I wasn't wearing my glasses. But I do know that this thing was way too big to be a squirrel x3 I just assumed it was a raccoon or possum or something. But then it started snarling o.o; and the squirrel started squeeling really loud. It's like a squirrel was getting devoured. D; it was so horrifying. I took out my camera and recorded the sounds though. x3 even my mommy heard it, and usually it takes A LOT to wake her up loool


What else was I going to talk about? Hrmmmm.


So, Redgie is like really fat now. I don't even know what happened. He's like overly obese.


Hannah's coming home this weekend 8D
I'm so happy! I miss her. C:


Last night I couldn't sleep, so I ended up watching the rest of The Little Mermaid 2 ;D
Then, watched half of The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning. x3
I love The Little Mermaid. C:


I was really upset last night cause a certain stupid, poofy-haired, fellow I know is just mean to me. I wrote a really long note/letter thing to him, but I never sent it. I just needed to get out my feelings of this situation, then I felt better. c:
I wish he gave a damn about my feelings for once :/ whatever.


But all you do is treat me bad, break my heart and make me feel so sad,
Tell me what did I do wrong, to make you stay away so long,
Yes baby love, my baby love, I need your love♫
LOOL funny how I found this song right when I wrote that. 8D


I have nothing to do tonight. I need to find something. I know Hannah's coming home tonight, but I don't actually have anything to do. 
I'm going with Hannah to get her hair cut tomorrow morning, then apparently hanging out with Chelsey and Quinn.
I was supposed to go to the movies with Sammie, but I don't know when we'd go, and I can't even remember what we're gonna see x3


I'm not going to the Hedley/Lights concert anymore. I wanted to go soo badly. I may just curl up into a ball and die. D:


I should probably clean the kitchen. Just so no one murders me for staying home today.


All I have been eating lately is Nutella Sandwiches. x3 they're good and all, but I need more food. ;c


All that is on my mind lately is this...fight? I guess you could call it that...between Aria and I. He's not really talking to me right now. I don't even know why. All I did was try and talk to him. Then he got mad. I guess I annoyed him mad core. Oh well...actually no...:C this is just stupid.


Well before I go clean the kitchen, I want to post awesome lyrics. 8D


Simply knowing you exist Ain't good enough for me But asking for your telephone number Seems highly inappropriate. Seeing as I can't Even say hi When you walk by. And that time you shook my hand It felt so nice I swear I never felt This way about any other guy And I don't usually notice people's eyes but... And when I saw you Kissing that girl My heart it shattered and my eyes, they watered And when I tried to speak I stuttered.
And my friends were like whatever You'll find someone better His eyes were way too close together And we never even liked him from the start And now he's with that tart And I heard she done some really nasty stuff Down in the park with Michael He said she's easy And if your guy's with someone that's sleazy Then he ain't worth your time 'Cause you deserve a real nice guy.
I don't ever dream About you and me I don't ever make up stuff about us. That would be classed as insanity I don't ever drive by your house to see if you're in. I don't even have an opinion On that tramp that you're still seeing. I don't know your timetable. I don't know your face off by heart
But I must admit. That there is still a part of me That thinks we might get on.♫


And something just went boom upstairs D: *scared*


And this song is just crazy cute 8D


I hate seagulls and I hate being sick. I hate burning my finger on the toaster and I hate nits. I hate fallin over, I hate grazing my knee. I hate pickin off the scab a little bit too early. I hate getting toothache, I hate when it’s a pisstake. I hate all the mistakes I make. I hate rude ignorant bastards and I hate snobbery. I hate anyone who if I was serving chips wouldn’t talk to me.
But…I…have…a friend… With whom…I like to spend Anytime…I…can find…with.
I like sleepin in your bed I like knowin what is goin on inside your head. I like takin time and I like your mind and I like when your hand is in mine. I like getting drunk on the tunes by the beach. I like pickin strawberries
I like cream teas and I like reading ghost…stories. 
My…heart skips a beat every time that we meet. It’s been a while and now your smile is almost like a memory
But then you’re back and I am fine cos you’re with me And I’m in love…with you.
And I…can’t find the words to make it sound unique…but… Honestly…you make me strong! I can’t believe I’ve found someone this kind. I hope we carry on Cos you’re so nice and I’m in love…with you…♫


And she said "Thanks, I like you too" and he said "Cool." ♫


Okay! Kitchen cleany time.
Blasting music while cleaning always seems like good motivation. C:


I just would like to say, whoever is reading this...I love you so much :D
You are just a great human being, and I adore you being my friend. c:
I don't think that last part made much sense, but just pretend it did, kay? 8D
♥


Adios dearest friends of mine. C:




Eww, Narcy just signed online.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame;

I realized this movie is secretly my life.
If you think about it, it all just makes so much sense.
I'm Quasimodo because we both have physical flaws and everyone makes fun of us, and we're basically outcasts, I guess.
Aria is Esmeralda, because Quasimodo falls inlove with Esmeralda and wants to be with her, but Esmeralda(that bitch) falls in love with that other guy. (I seriously can never remember his name) and she's a gypsy too. No one likes gypsies.
That one girl who's name shall not be mentioned shall be that other guy. Just cause Esmeralda fell for him. And that guy is really stupid.
Clara, Chelsey, and Quinn can be the three gargoyles, cause they are Quasi's only friends LOL
Anyone who hates Aria can be Frollo. But Frollo is gay.
I actually hate Frollo so much. He wants to kill Esmeralda just cause she's a gypsy, but according to Chelsey, gypsies are like prostitutes. Or something like that.
And I would give someone the title of Esmeralda's goat friend, but Aria doesn't deserve a friend. C:

"I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, hurt people, but when I say sorry. I mean it."

Just has to do with something that happened yesterday.
I just kind of hate when people don't believe when I'm sorry.
Of course I'm sorry. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.
You think I'd lie to you?
Never. ♥


Also, another thing that bothers me:
When people respond to important questions with one only one word.
I already knew you don't care, 
but you could at least properly answer me.
And "Sure" does not suffice. 
I asked you an important question that could make everything easier.
I know you're probably annoyed since I always ask you those types of questions, but I needed to know.
You could at least attempt or pretend to care.
I need to know the truth for once.
But you're clearly not good at that.


It's stupid that I miss you.
It's stupid that you're all that's on my mind.
But it's even more stupid that every memory I have of us, goes through my mind each day,
But you most likely forgot all about them.
Forgot all about me.
Doesn't anything we had, mean anything at all to you?
Guess not. 
Even though you do this to me, I still can't let go.




I don't really want to leave you behind. 
But apparently you can't stay all mine. 
So I'll try to let you go. You're not mine to own. 
If I let it go. If I let this go. If I let you go. 
Would the scars continue to show?♫


Every night turns to day, and everyone has to change. Now you're gone, 
and you're on to the next one. This time I've got to live without you, woah, 
and you're on to the next one. ♫


Baby, don't talk to me. I'm trying to let go. Not loving you is harder than you know. Cause girl you're driving me so crazy. How can I miss you if you never would stay? If you need time I guess I'll go away. Inside me now there's only heartache and pain. So where's the fire? You've become the rain. Are we just lost in time? I wonder if your love's the same. Cause I'm not over you. And if you don't want me than, I guess I'll have to go. Not loving you is harder than you know. ♫


You left me on the side of the road, now I've got no place to go, you brought the flood. It's on my brain, driving me insane. It's on my mind all of the time and if it left I would be fine. ♫


Take my life and then I'll feel okay. ♫




I actually love Escape The Fate so much. x3
All of their songs are brilliant.
Their album This War Is Ours, is pure genius.
Only if Ronnie was still there. D:

LOOOL

"Dad, I'm dying"
"Okay, let me practice what I'm going to say at your funeral: She was tall, and her hair was red. But it was fake, it was dyed. Just like her, she died"
There are tears rolling down my face. That was too funny. xDD

My dream;

So I have a horrible cold, and the dream I had last night was slightly messed up.

So, I can barely remember what all happened before...
OH nevermind, I remember.
It was Ivy's birthday, and she was like so upset, cause everything was going wrong, something about how we were taking the bus and someone pushed her out then the bus left without her?
Idk.
The next part I remember, is Joe, Eric and Scott were over, and we were attempting to get somewhere where everyone else was.
So, I found a laptop on my bed, which unfolded into a tv? LOL
Then we realized we could use the laptop as a map, so we took a chair and rolled down the street loool
It didn't make sense though, cause Joe was in the front in the chair with the laptop, and me, Eric, and Scott were behind him holding on, sitting on something, and I swear it was a car x3
Which makes no sense.
Anyway, so we reach our destination, which just so happens to be my house o.o;
And like everyone else is there, like Dom, Natasha, Alisha, Aria, Spencer, Stefan(idk why he was there, but whatever) and I think that's it.
We ended up playing a form of hide and seek, it wasn't actually hide and seek but it looked like it. That makes no sense.
Moving on.
I got really mad at one point cause like, Stefan walked up the stairs and ignored me, so I got mad and kicked a basket down the stairs. Apparently Eric was in there? LOL
Then Stefan came up to me and was all like "hey can I talk to you for a second?" and i'm all "sure whatever" and he just said all this stuff. He didn't even look like Stefan, but I knew it was him. I hate that.
Then after we were done talking, and we made up apparently, everyone was like...gone. Apparently Scott Dom and Eric left. Then Natasha and Alisha were leaving, but they were giving Spencer a ride home, but they couldn't find him, but it turns out he was just laying on the floor in the kitchen.

That was a long dream. I'm going back to sleep. My head is about to explode.
Hopefully I dream crazy stuff again. 8D

I can't believe...

He just said that D:
But I mean, it shouldn't even bother me that much.
But if I said it didn't, then I would be lying.
I don't even know what to do now..
I may just be over reacting.
But that hurt D:
Like...a lot.

ihmfl seriously

This is just a bad day.I not only did nothing today, but I was home alone and had no one to talk to.
Since my dad waitied way too long to buy those Lights concert tickets, it's sold out and I can't go now.
Just great. 
And I just decided to call Aria, and my phone was like so close to dying, and surprisingly he actually answered, cause I had a huge feeling he was just ignoring my call. But when he answered, he sounded so annoyed or upset or something, and said he was busy then hung up. 
Oh and my cosmo teacher is gonna throw a grenade at my head or something tomorrow.
I haven't been in class for a week, and haven't even finished my assingment. 
So it looks as if I have gotten into my old school habits.
Just fantastic.
I might as well fucking die. ><

D':

I wish I could just easily say "Hey, wanna come over today?" 
and it be okay.
But I can't, because he won't come.
I just wish it could be easier than this. D':
I wish seeing him could be as simple as that.
I just want to see him.
But no, it's never going to happen.
Yet, I still try harder anyway.




Haha what a perfect song for this moment x3


If I could change the currents of our lives To make the river flow where it's run dry To be a prodigal of father time Then I would see you tonight If I could find the years that went away Destroying all the cruelty of fate I must believe that love could find a way tonight.  Lonely finds me, One day you will come But I'll wait for love's sake. One day to be me, love. If I could see beyond the here and now If you could hear me calling you somehow If I could know that love is reaching out To find you with me tonight. Then hope could make these promises come true. Beyond what I could say, what love can do With every moment leading me to you tonight. I will stay forever here to wait for your love. ♫

This is why I love my dad.

"Dad, why do you hate me?"
"Well, it all started when you were born. It's because you were born...how do I put it? Without a penis. And I've felt this overwhelming dislikeness towards you ever since that day"
LOOL yea. x3

Anyway. So Sammie and my date went really well. :$
I basically stole her phone the whole time to text Aria, and we were texting Stefan, just to confuse him. 8D
He kept asking who it was, and we replied "caroline's gf" too funny. :3
But yea, the movie was like SO GOOD.
Easy A is a good movie. Watch it. :3
It made me laugh mad core.
It also made me miss a someone even more, somehow.

But yaw. Me and Sammie may go out on another date next weekend. :3
♥

Proof to why you shouldn't let Elizabeth on your msn...xD

kankowski&smith.<3 says:
 hello there Caroline's friend
·$4,1~ † TrickSTAR † ~    ≧∀≦    And if I die in my sleep, are you still willing to be everything you promised you would be? says:
 Heya
kankowski&smith.<3 says:
 How are you? You seem like an awesome person.
 I admire your hair.
·$4,1~ † TrickSTAR † ~    ≧∀≦    And if I die in my sleep, are you still willing to be everything you promised you would be? says:
 I'm alright and yourself? And what's so admireable about my hair? lol
kankowski&smith.<3 says:
 Admirable*
 but I'll forgive it.
·$4,1~ † TrickSTAR † ~    ≧∀≦    And if I die in my sleep, are you still willing to be everything you promised you would be? says:
 Rofl thanks
kankowski&smith.<3 says:
 I'm just snazzy.
 And your hair, it looks like Darren Criss'
 http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2429455872/nm2023050
 http://www.imdb.com/media/rm40274944/nm2023050
 that one's pretty
 http://www.imdb.com/media/rm611945472/nm2023050
 that's my favourite
 You seem like a cool guy.
·$4,1~ † TrickSTAR † ~    ≧∀≦    And if I die in my sleep, are you still willing to be everything you promised you would be? says:
 Lol, I see.
kankowski&smith.<3 says:
 Yeah. I don't want to pluck out your eyeballs.
·$4,1~ † TrickSTAR † ~    ≧∀≦    And if I die in my sleep, are you still willing to be everything you promised you would be? says:
 OH NO! x3 You should.
kankowski&smith.<3 says:
 I should?!
·$4,1~ † TrickSTAR † ~    ≧∀≦    And if I die in my sleep, are you still willing to be everything you promised you would be? says:
 Yes
kankowski&smith.<3 says:
 how come?
 If you can give me valid reasons, I might comply.
 Or not D: -Caroline
·$4,1~ † TrickSTAR † ~    ≧∀≦    And if I die in my sleep, are you still willing to be everything you promised you would be? says:
 Lol
 Because I don't want them anymore? That good enough?
kankowski&smith.<3 says:
 how can you not WANT your eyeballs?
 would you like to donate them to scienctific research?
 scientific*
 I'm going to need the density, circumfrence, and colour of your eyeballs.
 For scientific purposes.
·$4,1~ † TrickSTAR † ~    ≧∀≦    And if I die in my sleep, are you still willing to be everything you promised you would be? says:
 I have no idea x3
kankowski&smith.<3 says:
 Well you should get on that.

I love Elizabeth. ♥

Let us talk about my day shall we? :3

So, I really wasn't feeling well this morning, and basically stayed home against my parents wishes (thank you Elizabeth) because I threw up the night before and they didn't care so I was all like "screw it I'm staying home" anyway...I slept for most of the day, then at around three pm Natasha called me and we were talking about how her day was and such, while I was watching the movie "Love Happens" in my mommy's room. :3
It's a pretty good movie, even though I didn't get to watch all of it.
Then I went downstairs and started talking to Elizabeth and she asked if we could hang out, so I invited her to the laundromat because my dad wanted me to go there. I got there around6:20 and just kinda chilled, and she got there around 6:50. Then we sat and talked then Natasha called, and said she wanted to visit, so she did. Holy crap funniest time at the laundromat. Evar. Elizabeth found a Nazi safe haven. And also hid in a dryer. So funny. I almost died. Natasha and Elizabeth started dancing to Hoedown Throwdown, with the music turned up so loud. Then I basically turn around and they are on the tables dancing. o.o; so funny. then, while I was recording, a car pulls up and just stares at them, seriously funniest thing ever. We explored the basement and decided we need to create ultra extreme coolness down there. Cause, well, just, yea. In case of a zombie apocalypse the basement has everything you need to survive. You can hide, you can barricade the door, and there's flammable butane. Zombie's would be vulnerable to fire, I believe. Natasha kept sniffing like, every chemical. She's gonna die young. :c I KID 8D
We started cleaning at like, 9. We blasted "Car Wash" by Christina Aguleira while Elizabeth swept, Natasha held the dust pan, and I did money stuffs. It was fun and good stuff. We filled the vending machine, and while opening it, Natasha kept accidentally closing it x3 then we made a chain of throwing the boxes of Tide, Oxi Clean, and some other stuff and it worked sufficiently. 8D
Elizabeth threw herself at the window, and made Natasha joined her. Then some lady walked by and burst into laughter. It was so funny. Oh goodness. xD
Then we just played different songs, including disney songs, and by like 11, we left. Natasha's grandma gave us a ride.
We just sat here, went on facebook and stuffs. Then Paul texted Elizabeth saying he's working down the street so we went to visit him.

Caroline is tired of typing, so I - Elizabeth - shall take over for the time being. So we went to the Legion and there was this creepy homeless guy... he was creepy. And when we went inside there was this crazy Irish-country-folk music, and I was like, "Wow he wasn't kidding, these people are VERY Irish and VERY drunk"

And ohgosh, it was like, the funniest thing ever. In my life. There were like 15 people left, because he was supposed to be finished but they were still all there. It was hilarious. And then this lady and this guy come up to talk to us, and they were hilariously drunk. And turns out she went to BR and was vice-president and everything! And the guy's name was Greg, and he played the fiddle, and he asked how old we were and gave us his address. .When you say it all together like that, it sounds completely creepy, but he was actually nice! :)

But drunk :P

The lady was all, "PAUL'S OUR MAAANNN!" It was so fracking funny. And apparently we were his 'groupies' and she was honestly hilarious. After listening to a bunch of awesome songs [Thank God I'm a Country Boy FTW] they had to close the bar and eventually he finished. And we helped him pack up [sort of, I mostly watched the equipment, :P] and we went back outside. And everyone was still standing in a drunken-group-of-awesomeness and Paul was packing up and the lady said something about his "sexy groupies" and they were going on and telling Greg to pick one and make a move, which was creepy but hilarious at the same time. Although admittedly, mostly creepy. We walked away after that.

But then we said bye to Paul and came back here, and now Care's sitting beside me eating noodles, and yelling at Redgie for being dumb :P And fat. And err - that's about it I s'pose ! :)

Also, Caroline would like to shove *********** into a woodchipper.

All in all, it was like the funniest day in the world, from start to finish. :D


- Me and Elizabeth just ran outside to look at the moon. But we couldn't find it. o.o;
D:

And to Narcy, love Caroline:
"hi narcy 
 how are you doing today
 you smell like onions. covered in poop. with a side of anchovies. that is all. have a nice day. :3 "

Quinn's setting me up with a mystery person. 8D

YAAAAAAY.
Well, he better.
I'm desperate.
Since Natasha found her Declan,
I need someone so we can double date, with our men.

Breasts?
Okay, that's my new topic.
Be happy, sir -.-
So, uhm, yea....boobs
they are great things.
awesome creations. mhm, fo sho.

Quinns a mean friend.
mario, pasta, spaghetti, soup, ice cream, hickey's.
no, not hickey's.
why would i write about that?
pfffffffffft.

kesha's dad is mick jagger?!?!
apparently so.
wth, is that true?
yes., i will write down what you say.
no, i'm really not.
8D

quinn has a nice face.
but so does aria.
but now quinns dead.
shit. ♥

Hahah wow.

Just trying to be a friend, and help you two out, no need to act like a bitch about it. 8D
Plus, this "issue" is your doing anyway.
So don't get mad at me or anyone else for trying to help.
*end rant*

I had a really good day. 8D
Today was picture day, and I helped giving out the card things with Clara today.
We spent all day together and it was super fun. 8D
I made a new friend: James Mcdonald.
LOL I told him to be my friend today, so we're friends. :D
There were so many funny moments today, but I can't remember half of them.
I remember when Daniel Trombetta came, and he's like all crazy,
I'm like "Name?"
He says "Trombetta"
"And how do you spell that?"
"T...R...O-M-B-E-T-TA"
"Uhm, okay, I just needed the first  initial  *hands card*"
"Okay, and where do I go?"
"Just anyone of those lines"
"And do I need to take my shirt of for this?"
"Oh of course."
It was just really funny.. xDD

My picture actually looks really good this year. I'm content with it. :3
I lined all four cards up, and it actually goes "Horrendous --> Ugly --> Decent --> Pretty" 8D

My day was amazing, but there were only three things that upset me.
1. The stuff Nick was talking about.
2. A someone basically hates me and is avoiding me.
3. And a different someone just doesn't want to talk to me.
Basically, we have a five second conversation, then he says he has to go then signs offline before I can say anything. It's getting kind of ridiculous. I just want to talk to him. :c

:O Hannah just invited me to go to Toronto for the weekend and stay with her and stuff.
Wait, shit, I can't.
Fml.
I almost forgot about my date on Saturday adn then I believe I'm hanging out with Elizabeth on Sunday. Or was it Quinn? I don't remember. D:
Maybe I can go see Hannah next weekend?
Hannah really wants to see you though, sweety-Dad
I know, but I promised Sammie I'd take her to the movies for her birthday-Me
Take her in Toronto-Dad.
xD

I'm now reading Emily's Post Secret book. I love these books! ♥
She has like three of them. :3
She's also writing her own secrets, but she's crazy, so..xD

I now have to find something to make for everyone for dinner. Because everyone else is too lazy.
My sister said "Why am I the one who has to always make dinner?!"
Then my mom said "I'm too tired. Why do *I* always have to make dinner?"
Then Emily says "Because you're the mother!"
Ohmygosh, I couldn't stop laughing. xD

Okay, bye. 8D

Cause only you can make me happy.

So, I no longer know what I'm doing with my life anymore.
It feels like everything just kind of fell apart.
I have a feeling I may be getting into my old habits with school and such.
And that's really not a good thing...
It's kind of just getting to the point again where I don't even see a point to tomorrow...

I really need to stop thinking like this.
I can't though.
I need help. :C

I really thought everything was falling into place, and everything was getting better. But I realized it's not.
I'm stupid.
I really am.
To think that some of the people I called friend, actually don't care at all.
To think you would possibly feel the same about me, but no. You don't care. You never did. I just sit there and tell you all this stuff about how I feel. And you could care less. You most likely think I'm annoying and that I just bother you. I probably never meant anything to you. You probably don't even want to see me. But that's fine....*end rant* :c

I also realized I need to stop talking. Me speaking just somehow makes everything worse...

And this is where I say something terrible and say "instead of just not talking, maybe I should just die, everything would be much better that way"
But yea, that's just how my stupid mind works. :/

And this is where I apologize for being stupid, a horrible friend,  and whatever else. D:
*dies*

Why do I even bother?

I need to stop talking.
Because I talk to much.
Cause apparently that's a bad thing.
And I just made him hate me even more than he already does.
D:

You be the anchor...

"You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds"


And honestly, I have been begging for answers
That you and only you can give to me
A voice crying loud
I've been crying for days now
And as I start to run, I stop to breathe
(And I was nearly scared to death)
And I was nearly scared to death
(Why you left in paragraphs)
Why you left in paragraphs
(The words were nearly over us)
The words were nearly over us
You stop and turn and grab your bags

As hours move to minutes
And minutes take longer to break
I will be desperately awaiting
But my tongue won't fall apart
And we've been sitting here for hours
All alone and in the dark

So let me think of how to word it
Is it too soon to say 'perfect'?
If I could find another thirty minutes somewhere
I'm sure everything would find me
All that's left is just to sing

And if you sing to me sweet until then,
I may never sail Virginia again
And as this current moves slow for me
This much you must know of me again
And I'll have you know I'm scared to death

Tell me once again
That you'll love me to the death
And should I die, you swear that you will come for me
As I fade away, you reach out your hand
(And please don't let me go)
And please don't let me go
(And please don't let me go)
And please don't let me go

And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"
With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me? 
♫